Simon and Margie Gillham / Vice Principal, Moore College and Pastoral Care Manager for CMS NSW.
Here at Moore, we want to be as helpful as we can in preparing students who are married to love their spouses well and to invest in their marriages—for the good of their families and for the good of the church. This love needs to be nurtured and informed. While this is true for every marriage, there are some additional pressures, expectations and joys that come to married couples in Christian ministry.
Christian husbands and wives are to love one another in response to, and in reflection of, the love that Christ has for the church (Eph 5:22-33). The connection between the household of God, the church, and the household of Christian leaders is of utmost importance for ministry. The qualifications for overseers describe life in the leader’s household, and many of the characteristics expected of leaders will be seen most clearly in their homes and marriages (1 Tim 3:1-7).
To raise the stakes even further, there is a clear and deliberate blurring of what we might consider the public and private lives of Christian leaders. How a leader is in their marriage and at home determines how they are viewed by those inside the church, who watch their lives closely (1 Tim 4:11-16), and also the reputation they have among outsiders (1 Tim 3:7). A person who struggles with self-control, drunkenness or any kind of violence at home is not qualified to exercise public ministry. Our marriages and homes should be places of gentleness, hospitality and care. In this way, the home of the leader becomes a place from which ministry can be extended.
We love being married and have loved doing ministry together for more than 30 years. One of our great joys at College is meeting with couples and talking these things through in a variety of casual and more organised ways. Part of the genius of College community is that we all get to learn from and encourage one another as we do life side by side.
We are also part of a team of faculty couples who run a few different organised programs for marriage enrichment. These include an evening to help new students think about how their marriage can thrive at College; a five-night program to develop healthy and resilient marriages called Building a Safe and Strong Marriage; and an evening for exiting students to think specifically about how to love one another well in marriage as they transition to full-time ministry and set habits and expectations for one another and their families.
Jesus is honoured and his gospel adorned when Christian husbands and wives love one another, following the model of love that he exercised. It is our prayer that the marriages of our College community will reflect the love that Christ has for his church.
