By Veronica Hoyt / Director of the Priscilla & Aquila Centre and Lecturer in Ministry
I am frequently drawn to the Psalms of Lament. These psalms are highly personal. They reflect deep pain but also hope and trust in our loving God.
The psalms of lament resonate with the brokenness I see and experience. Their first lines are poignant, moving: “O LORD, how many are my foes!” (Ps 3); “Save, O LORD, for the godly one is gone; for the faithful have vanished from among the children of man (Ps 12); “How long, O LORD, Will you forget me forever?” (Ps 13).
As I reflect on the past 12 years of local church ministry, primarily but not only among women, I am reminded of how often I went to the psalms of lament. Not only did they speak wisdom to me personally, but they also fuelled many pastoral conversations.
It’s true that ministry has many joyful moments. We get to see and share in a great deal that brings delight: unbelievers coming to faith; children flourishing in the kids’ programs; special occasions such as graduations, marriages, the birth of children; church events that are well attended; gospel growth. These are just a few examples, and it is important that we develop eyes that can spot these joyful moments and hearts that praise God for them.
However, it’s also true that much of our time in ministry, especially that spent with individuals, deals with the pain of living in a sinful and broken world.
On any given day in ministry I could come across a combination of any (and more) of the following scenarios in my conversations with women: personal sin and shame; family issues; being overwhelmed with responsibilities; mental illness; gynaecological issues; death; the uncertainties and issues around being single; tension within the church; care of elderly parents; ministries that fail to flourish; relationships that hurt; past trauma; abuse.
How do we respond to this string of pain and deep need?
There is a long answer to this question, but one imperative is that the person who is sharing their hurt feels heard by us. This is not a moment to be uncaring and harsh, but instead to practise fruit of the Spirit such as gentleness, patience, and kindness. Proverbs 16:24 is a helpful reminder: “Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy to the body.”
It is also a moment to remind them that they can turn to the Lord in their pain and hurt. Through the work of the Lord Jeus, we have access to the throne of God’s grace (Heb 4:16). Many have done so in the past and the psalms of lament are wonderful examples to us of how to do that.
Put simply, a psalm of lament is “a prayer of pain that leads to trust.”[1] They tend to have a simple structure:
- We direct our attention away from ourselves and to God by telling him the problem.
- We remind ourselves of who God is: He is almighty and sovereign, our Creator and Redeemer.
- We trust that God is for us, not against us (through Christ nothing can separate us from his love).
- We look forward to a day of deliverance (often expressed in praise).
For me this has been one of the joys of ministry: to point my hurting sister to the hope we have in the Lord Jesus as the conversation moves through these four steps.
The psalms of lament can form a conversation pattern that is powerful because it is rooted in the rubric of God’s word. My sister needs to be heard by me, but more importantly she also needs the comfort and hope (and solutions) that only God can ultimately provide.
Moving through these four steps can be done in various ways depending on the situation. It can be as simple as forming the structure of a ministry conversation. It can also structure the prayer as the conversation is committed to the Lord.
It is also helpful to know of a particular psalm of lament that is pertinent to the conversation. For example, Psalm 32 can be read in the context of sin and shame; Psalm 12 for those struggling from the sins of others; and Psalm 13 when the struggles of life are overwhelming.
The church has sung and been comforted by the psalms of lament for thousands of years. They remain a rich and abiding source of hope for God’s people today. Let’s not neglect to use them in our ministry conversations.
Veronica Hoyt, a West Australian by birth, has spent a good deal of her married life living in New Zealand. With husband Berwyn and adult son Emlyn, Veronica has settled in Sydney after years of local church ministry, both in New Zealand and Australia. As the new Director of the Priscilla and Aquila Centre at College Veronica is delighted to be able to walk alongside women as they consider how they might serve in the church in partnership with men. Veronica is excited by her role in the Ministry Department at College: “I love to walk alongside women in their growing understanding of the Scriptures and its life-changing application for them in each season of life, in all its joys and its sorrows. It’s a privilege to continue to do this pastoral work within the Moore College community, and to play a part in men and women being equipped to go out to love and serve the Lord and his church wherever he will send them.”
[1] Vroegop, Mark. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the grace of lament. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Books, 2019: p23.
